“Nobody teaches you how to be a parent. An autistic child doesn’t understand things like his siblings. You have to learn to understand him.” It is a simple sentence-no dramatic words, no inspirational slogans, no attempt to sound heroic.
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But those little words from Marc Cucurella could mean more than anything he has ever done with a football at his feet.
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For football fans, Cucurella is Spain and Chelsea’s enthusiastic defender — the player who never stops running, never shirks a challenge and leaves everything on the pitch. But away from the stadium lights, he is just a father trying to figure out his son.
Mateo, one of his eldest children is Autistic.
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Like many families across the globe, Marc and his partner Claudia Rodríguez had embarked upon an unexpected journey when they noticed Mateo was different when he was still very young. Doctors couldn’t pinpoint a diagnosis at Brighton because he was too young.
Then came the hardest part.
Watching their son struggle.
Mateo found mainstream school overwhelming. He wasn’t happy and cried for hours. Each and every school day turned into a torture not only for him but also for his parents who could just sit and watch, helpless themselves, wonder why things had to be like this and how to help. “It hurts you a lot,” said the player. You are not able to have a clear vision of your child and you do not know how to help him.”
That statement speaks to what a lot of parents of kids on the autism spectrum know instinctively. The most difficult thing isn’t the diagnosis, it’s the helplessness.
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That your child is saying something which the world will not listen. When the family moved to London, everything changed because it is there, finally, that Mateo was diagnosed and placed in a more appropriate school. The family was given coaching, communication tools and over time came to realize they did not need to fix Mateo.
They needed to understand him.
“We couldn’t find a way to help him until we found another school in London… You learn how to handle it and you understand it. There is a downside. Everything is harder, everything is more difficult. But there is also a good side. When you achieve something, a simple step forward, it gives much more satisfaction,” he said in interviews.
That is perhaps the most beautiful lesson in Marc Cucurella’s story.
He doesn’t write about autism as something to fight. Instead, he speaks honestly about adapting, learning and celebrating the victories that many people never notice.
A first successful school day.
A new word.
A calmer afternoon.
For many families with autistic kids, these moments are just as memorable as winning a championship. And his story also reminds us something important about fathers.
We are conditioned to believe that dads need to be the ones with solutions—the ones who have all the answers, the strong men fixing everything.
Autism, however, teaches a different lesson. There are instances where being a good dad does not mean you have the answers but it’s about admitting you don’t.
Think of it as learning with your child, it is about being patient while life does not follow the plan in your head.
Men are trained from a young age not to talk about fear, uncertainty and emotional pain, but the football player us that showing our vulnerability is not weakness but the purest version of love itself. His story also demands a little something from the rest of us.
The number of times we expect autistic children to adjust to a world that is low-reluctantly trying to understand them. How many schools have been given the support they need?
How often do we expect autistic children to adapt to a world that makes little effort to understand them? How many schools still lack the support they need?
How many playgrounds, football academies, classrooms and public spaces remain overwhelming instead of welcoming? Inclusion cannot stop at awareness campaigns or World Autism Awareness Day.
It must become part of everyday life. It means coaches who understand sensory differences.
Above all, it means acknowledging that there’s nothing wrong with autistic children not wanting to grow up just like everybody else, sometimes they need society to wise up. This is why the story of Marc Cucurella has said so much more than football.
It´s a father reminding the world that there is a child behind every autism diagnosis who deserves dignity, acceptance and opportunity.
Goals turn games around; that’s why they celebrate them in football but stories like this change people. The world will remember the father who faced the world and said this quietly: “You have to learn to understand him.”
